But let me explain a little before you start your personal attack on me.
I'll be the first to admit that I can't pass up a good double entendre or sexual innuendo, and believe me, if "that's what she said"(or, in many a case, "that's what he said") turned nightmares into dreams, then my world would be one giant wonderland. Good God, I couldn't even start this article without making a fellatio joke.
And being part of the gay community means, usually, being part of the gay culture. And with that comes drag queens, Lady Gaga, bondage, sex toys and partying. I'm speaking in generalities, of course. Only one or two of those actually apply to me. (I'll let you guess which ones!)
But on the LGBTQ activism front, I think someone needs to stand up and demand some of the more flamboyantly sexual of us take it down a notch in public. So I'll be the one to take on that challenge.
The movement for equal rights among the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer population came to a head that fateful June day in 1969 when a group of us got fed up with the beatings and humiliation and general second class citizenry. The Stonewall Riots lit a fire that burns to this day.
In the beginning of our attempts to let society know that we're here and, indeed, we're queer, I think flaunting our sexuality was a must. I'd like to think of it as baptism by sexual fire. Society was so repulsed at the very notion that two people who just happened to have the same sexual anatomy could love each other that we were pretty much forced to show them that we could--and we would.
And of course this led to our celebrating our sexuality to show the world that we had nothing to be ashamed of, so society shouldn't either. And I think that initial part of the battle is over. Even those zealots who flaunt "God Hates Fags" signs are still aware that we're here, and even if they don't realize it, they're acclimated to our presence.
But now we're on the forefront of equal rights. There is a big possibility the Supreme Court could strike down California's Prop 8 this month, and hopefully they do away with DOMA, as well. But there are still some of us who think we need to stick it to society and flaunt our sexual behaviors just to prove some point that doesn't need to be proven any more.
And it's doing more damage than good.
I have a friend, and he's a very dear friend and a very good person. But he's known far and wide as "the gay guy." He's made it his life's work to be just that. Being gay comes first and foremost, and I think he gets a kick out of making people feel uncomfortable when he starts making intercourse jokes or talking about male anatomy.
Yes, it's funny to me, but we're in a very conservative state (Utah has yet to pass any sort of legislation on a statewide level that extends job and housing security or domestic partnership benefits based on sexual orientation or identity).
We still have many battles to fight, and people like my friend definitely do not represent the majority of the LGBTQ community. Most of us are happy to go about our lives living the same way everyone else does. All we want are the same rights everyone else has.
But when one person jumps in front of a thousand people and starts yelling on their behalf, whether they like it or not, that person is now the spokesperson for the entire crowd. And it's hard to ignore someone who runs around throwing condoms in people's faces and commenting on guys' rear ends.
This kind of behavior makes the more uneducated of society believe that all gay people want is sex and that we only view other people as sexual objects. We must, we must, WE MUST stop perpetuating this stereotype!
Our very rights are at stake! Do we want it to take another 40 years before we take the next big step in having the same rights every American is afforded? Do we want to bide our time by sitting on our asses and making jokes about shoving things up our asses rather than showing America we are not a group of kinky sex addicts? Is the leather and the sexual T-shirt slogans so worth it that we're willing to have them instead of the right to marry the person we fall in love with?
I applaud the generation that had to show the world sex and sexuality are just part of being human. You truly are pioneers, and there's no way we'd be staring down the bigotry of Prop 8 with a chance of winning without your initial gusto. But that portion of the fight is over. Now we need to be appealing, not appalling, if we want to get an entire country to believe we're not here to start some national orgy.
I'm giving our pioneer brothers and sisters five out of five Fabs for paving the way to the place we're at today. Thank you so much for your efforts, for the blood you shed, for the tears you cried, for the battles you fought, for the stand you took that made it possible for me to walk out in the open and be gay and not afraid.
BUT, I'm also giving those of us who think we need to make a "Tom's dick is hairy" to every Tom, Dick and Harry five out of five Trashes because you're not doing our community any favors.
Please, I'm begging you. Tone it down in public. Yes, be the sexual person you are with the people you have sex with! But don't take the details of your bedroom life and slap it across the face of the very people we're trying to persuade. We need to be taken seriously. I, for one, would never take a straight couple seriously if all they talked about was the latest sexual positions they figured out and how they implemented both a cucumber and an eggplant into their last lovemaking session. The same goes for us.
Now let's continue the good fight.
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